crykidcry

Remember when you were young?
and you thought you really knew yourself?
well, i dunno if this has happened to any of you yet but
there comes a time were....everything you ever thought you knew about yourself and others
is wrong....
OR
youre told its wrong by all the closest people to you...
so you get reaaaalllllyyy fucking confused and take about 15000000 steps back to try and make sense of it all
but it just gets more confusing. you wanna believe the ones you love, but at the same time you gotta do it for you.

Its a re-birth.
You shut down the systems
and re boot them with different software
completely
Completely reinventing everything youve ever known.
my fuck ups in all of your eyes could quite possibly be my biggest achievement thus far in my life.
its weird the way people fuckin work

ill get it
youll get it
youll get that im getting it and ill get your getting that i get it
ya know, that sorta thing.....


PS- man, what a weird feeling this shits turned into
not what i expected
a hand full of emotion
packed tightly in a balled up first
leaking through white knuckles
and words, sinking behind my grinding teeth, back down my throat
yikes!
this sounds more serious than it is.
its actually fun, and exhilarating
i just hope im not being a fuckin fool cause i tend to do that shit from time to time
maybe i feel vulnerable so i see myself as that and i feel everyone else around me does as well
ive said to much, fuck yall..god dammit

i think im just being honest, which is what youre sappose to do right?
yah, honesty, fuck yah...thats the way to go

This is one of thoose new chapters they all talk about.
I really feel it.
Its new, its horrifying, but theres this overwhelming comfort of somesort coming from somewhere.....
Im not mistaken it for anything other than confidence ladies & gents...
Common, Im not that manufactured.

Im guessing I will get the hang of this "being alone" thing soon.
ya know? "emotionally stable"...hahaha fuckin' A right!
Sooner than Later..
The sooner the better
It better be soon..
But i guess its the price you pay
and i guess i just can not wait.....